February 12, 2013

  • Doors & Being a Gentlemen

    So I was at the post office mailing my state tax form. As I exited the building, there’s this woman, an african-american maybe in her late teens or early 20’s, walking up the stairs towards the entrance. (The entrance/exit is maybe 10 feet from the top of the stairs, and there are maybe 8 -10 steps on the stairs.) I’ve already gone through the doors and she’s maybe on the second step. As I pass her at the top of the stairs, with smug look on her face, she sarcastically says “Thanks for holding the door for me, you’re SUCH as gentlemen”. I was caught off-guard, thinking “is she forreals?!?!”, and only came back with an equally sarcastic “you’re welcome”. I thought of it later in the car, but I should’ve tacked on a “, your highness” to the end of that, and then bowed.

    Then I started to think about it more, and it really fucking pissed me off. Actually, I’m still mad about it. I have never been accused of not being a gentlemen or anything like that. I have mostly been good about holding doors for anyone, not just women, in any situation. But this ONE time......this b!tch had to be rude about it. "F@ck her!! She don’t even know me!" is what I thought. And I don't even think I was in wrong, cause check this:

    1. she was HELLA far still.....had I held the door for her, I would’ve waited there for maybe 5 secs, which doesn’t seem too long, but to was to me and would've been a total inconvenience since I had places to go,
    2. her hands weren’t full, she wasn't carrying/pushing/pulling anything, and there no other indications that she needed assistance with the door,
    3. she didn’t appear to be rushing or in a hurry,
    4. it was a very light door (not heavy at all), and the slight breeze was actually pushing it open a bit,
    5. if she really wanted me to hold the door, she could’ve simply just asked,
    6. she's a grown-ass woman, she can open the door herself

    After thinking about it, I should’ve went off on her and told her the origin of men holding doors open for women: way back when (think Camelot days), doors were made to be ram-proof: big, tall, & very heavy, and women couldn’t open them themselves, so men would open them & hold them open for the women.

    It’s not so much what she said, but the way she said it that actually bothers me. Had she been polite, I would’ve felt kinda bad (not fully all-the-way bad, for the reasons I numbered above), but I would’ve at least apologized. But no, she was rude, sarcastic, and even possibly condescending as if she was better than everyone else and rightfully deserved the door be held open for her everywhere she went. Funny thing is, had she been someone even remotely attractive (oooh, burn!!! ya sarcastic b!tch, f@ck you!), I would’ve held the door open, no hesitation, without thinking twice about it.